High Performance
Isn’t A Survival Mode
Isn’t A Survival Mode
By Inga Stasiulionyte
When you ask leaders how they’re doing, the response is almost reflexive: “I’m very busy.”
We all recognize that feeling — the relentless cascade of requests, demands, responsibilities crashing over us like an avalanche of tennis balls. And there we are, scrambling desperately to keep each one aloft, terrified that a single dropped ball signals defeat.
But let’s pause. Think back to your moments of peak performance. Were they born out of frantic survival mode? Were you truly at your best when dashing from meeting to meeting, call to call, breathlessly keeping pace?
“Why did you lose the match?” my coach once asked me.
I had no choice but to admit it — I got worn down. My opponent had me running all over the court until exhaustion led to mistake after mistake.
“But why did you let her control the game?” my coach pressed.
The truth stung: I fed her easy shots, giving her every chance to tire me out. I thought I was “doing what I could” by just keeping the ball in play. But this reactive mindset cost me the match.
We all recognize that feeling — the relentless cascade of requests, demands, responsibilities crashing over us like an avalanche of tennis balls. And there we are, scrambling desperately to keep each one aloft, terrified that a single dropped ball signals defeat.
But let’s pause. Think back to your moments of peak performance. Were they born out of frantic survival mode? Were you truly at your best when dashing from meeting to meeting, call to call, breathlessly keeping pace?
“Why did you lose the match?” my coach once asked me.
I had no choice but to admit it — I got worn down. My opponent had me running all over the court until exhaustion led to mistake after mistake.
“But why did you let her control the game?” my coach pressed.
The truth stung: I fed her easy shots, giving her every chance to tire me out. I thought I was “doing what I could” by just keeping the ball in play. But this reactive mindset cost me the match.
Now, what would you have advised me to do differently? And how does this tennis scenario reflect in how you lead, perform, and navigate your work?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Reply using the form below.
Here are some brilliant answers from you that I would love to share:
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A couple of reactions: high performance necessitates an intentionality in my mind. If one is in the, “I’m just trying to survive” mindset— maybe the question should be, “should I even play the match?” Taking a step back, “What is it that I’m trying to accomplish, and is my best outcome to play and lose or to just not play this match and prep instead for another match?” Tennis has been on my mind recently given this relevance for such analogies. The losses feel very personal because it’s 1 v 1 (assuming singles here). Sometimes the losses are good — they reveal weaknesses and opportunities. Other times, losses waste energy and make the feeling of winning seem very distant (this latter point was part of the plot of Challengers that really resonated with me. Why did you lose? Because the winning mindset wasn’t there and the choice architecture of “should I event be doing this” wasn’t front of mind. What do others think?
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Remember to breathe. When things get tough, keep going. Inhale deeply, exhale fully and focus on what and who matters most to you. Do only what aligns with that, and do it with those who matter.
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Find peace with where we are in the moment.
In other words, as nice as it would be to feel energized, agile, and responsive, finding some space to make peace with our current reality at least gives us the opportunity to make decisions from where we are vs. making decisions where we believe we should be.
In other words, as nice as it would be to feel energized, agile, and responsive, finding some space to make peace with our current reality at least gives us the opportunity to make decisions from where we are vs. making decisions where we believe we should be.
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First, I love the newsletter. I use the concept of how many balls are in the air as a metaphor at work all the time. We talk about how as managers or individual contributors we are constantly juggling many items (balls). I will even joke with partners at work that it is not a ball they can drop. Some balls you can drop. Understanding which balls can be dropped is key.
When I find myself getting exhausted by the work, I frequently decide to take a quick walk to decompress a bit. Let the game slow down for me. The best athletes frequently talk about how when they are in a groove everything is in slow motion. Then I prioritize the most important balls and decide how to delegate and break up tasks into bites of time. What must be done today? What must be done tomorrow? Next week? Etc. In doing this I control the game and alleviate stress from myself and my team.
When I find myself getting exhausted by the work, I frequently decide to take a quick walk to decompress a bit. Let the game slow down for me. The best athletes frequently talk about how when they are in a groove everything is in slow motion. Then I prioritize the most important balls and decide how to delegate and break up tasks into bites of time. What must be done today? What must be done tomorrow? Next week? Etc. In doing this I control the game and alleviate stress from myself and my team.
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